Stop Obsessing Over the "How": The Path to Clarity
- 5 days ago
- 2 min read
I’ll be honest, I would love to find the easy button.
When I’m looking for my next big move—whether it’s for my business or my life—I want the burning bush. I want the sky to crack open, a lightning bolt to strike the ground, and a booming voice to say, "Tosca, this is exactly what you need to do next."
But that is rarely how it happens.
We live in a culture that is addicted to the "How." We want the roadmap, the strategy, and the execution plan before we’ve even taken a breath to ask ourselves what we actually want. We are so busy trying to figure out how to climb the mountain and be in the ‘doing’ of life that we forget to check if it’s even the right mountain.
I had a client, let's call her Jackie. She came to me at her wits' end. She was convinced she needed a new job, a new city, a new everything. She had even hired a coach before me to polish her resume. But it fell flat. Why? Because she was trying to execute on a vision she didn't actually have.
Through our work—focusing on the human skills of introspection and stillness—she realized she didn't want a new job. She wanted peace. She wanted contentment. And in our work together she realized that these things were right where she was; in her current role and her current city.
This is the power of prioritizing the "What" over the "How."
If you’re feeling stuck, or if you feel like you’re pushing a boulder up a hill, pause. Ask yourself:
Am I trying to force an outcome?
Am I listening to the noise of the world (social media, family, friends) instead of my own voice?
Can I put this problem "on the shelf" for 24 hours (or even a week) and let my nervous system regulate?
Clarity is a shy creature. It doesn't shout over the noise of your busy life. It speaks in whispers.
You have to get quiet enough to hear it.
