The Strongest Leadership Is Built in the Repair. Here's What That Actually Means.
- Apr 7
- 4 min read
Let me start with something that I think you need to hear: you are not going to get it right every single time. And I know that's not exactly a revolutionary statement, like, of course nobody's perfect, right? But here's the thing; knowing it and actually making peace with it are two very different things. And the gap between those two? That's where a lot of leadership struggles live.
The truth is, most of us are carrying around an unspoken expectation (whether we realize it or not) that we should be getting it right. That we should know what to say, when to say it, how to show up, and how to handle every situation with precision and grace. And when we don't? That's when the fear kicks in.
The Fear Is Real. But It's Not the Whole Story.
No matter what you may see on the outside, most leaders operate with an underlying layer of fear around making mistakes. Fear of saying the wrong thing, of making the wrong choice, of not having the answer. Fear of hurting someone's feelings. Fear of looking like they don't know what they're doing. If the fear goes deep enough, it can keep you from taking any action at all. You start avoiding conflict. You stop trying new approaches. You stay in safe, predictable territory because at least there, the risk of messing up feels smaller.
The origin story of this fear? It goes way back. I want you to think about the messages you received as a kid, from your parents, your caretakers, your teachers. Were you expected to get it right the first time? Were you told that if you can't do something well, don't do it at all? Because those messages don't just disappear when you grow up. They become part of your operating system as a leader.
If you come from a technical background where things are either right or wrong, pass or fail, you may not have made room in your belief system for mistakes to be part of the process.
The Overcorrection I Keep Learning
Making mistakes often has become part of my personal journey of acceptance. I share this story with you for some perspective on this leadership principle I’ve been talking about.
I've had Type 1 diabetes for 24 years. And one of the things I deal with constantly, even now, even with all the technology, and the insulin pumps and the math behind it, is the overcorrection when my sugar goes low. When your sugar goes low, you need to consume sugar in some form. So, I drink the orange juice. I grab the Skittles. BUT most of the time, I eat more than I need. That’s because biologically, my body is sending me every kind of message to make sure I eat sugar or something that gets my sugar to the right level - out of danger of fainting.
So these added signals and the discomfort of feeling jittery, and confused when my sugar is low means I often consume MORE than I need to correct the situation.
What happens then? My sugar goes way up - like up into the point it’s TOO HIGH. This probably happens 80% of the time.
You would think that after 24 years I would have this figured out. But what I've learned, and honestly it took longer than I'd like to admit, is to expect the overcorrection. To accept that this is part of the process, not an exception to it. My job isn't to be perfect, it's to accept what is, and then course correct.
Sound familiar? Because leadership works the same way.
Where Real Strength Actually Lives
The strongest leadership isn't built in the moments when everything goes right. It's built in the repair. It's built in the moments when you say, "I know I messed that up. I take responsibility. And I want to make it right."
Here's what I know to be true: when you're willing to face what went wrong and actually try to repair it, you can leapfrog the strength of your relationships. Think about the strongest relationships in your life, personally or professionally. I'm going to guess at least a few of them got stronger because something went sideways and you had to work through it together.
That's not a coincidence. That's repair creating a stronger container for the relationships.
And here's the part I really want you to sit with: brushing off your mistakes and saying "Oh well, I messed that up" and just leaving it there? That's a cop-out. I say that with love, but I say it clearly. Because the thing you're trying to bury? It's probably festering for the people involved, even if it's not bothering you.
What Courage Actually Looks Like
Courage in leadership isn't the absence of fear. It's not having all the answers. It's being willing to say: yeah, I didn't make the best choice there, and I'm going to do something about it.
Even if you don't know exactly how to make it right, that is actually a beautiful place to start. Going to someone and saying, "I know I messed up. I take responsibility. I'm not sure how to fix it, but I want to", my guess is that person is going to help you figure it out. They would probably love to tell you what they need to feel better.
This is a muscle. Just like any other skill you've built in your career, the ability to sit in the discomfort of having gotten something wrong and still choose to face it, that takes practice. It takes space. And it takes giving yourself some grace while you figure it out.
Ask Yourself This
What expectations are you placing on yourself as a leader? Are they realistic? Are you expecting to never mess up, to always say the right thing, to have everyone love every decision you make?
The leadership journey is not a straight line to perfection. It’s a constant process of learning, getting it wrong, and being willing to repair and correct. That's where your growth and expansion will come from as a leader. And that's where your reputation gets built - one authentic repair at a time.
Be kind to yourself in this. And if you've got questions, or you're just like, how do I even know if I'm doing real repair? Reach out. I'd love to hear from you.
Stay Feisty, Fabulous and Perfectly Imperfect. 💛
