You Aren't Broken: Healing "Paper Cut" Trauma and the Nervous System with Stacey Uhrig
- Tosca DiMatteo
- Jan 20
- 2 min read
We often carry a misconception about the word trauma. We think it’s reserved for the big, explosive events: war, violence, or catastrophe. Because of this definition, many of us, especially high-achieving leaders, dismiss our own struggles. We tell ourselves, "I had a roof over my head. I went to Disney World every year. I have nothing to complain about".
But here is the truth I uncovered in my own experience and gain in my recent conversation with Trauma Recovery Coach Stacey Uhrig: Trauma is not always a gaping wound. Sometimes, it’s a thousand paper cuts accumulated over a lifetime.
In this episode, we explore why you might feel stuck, unsatisfied, or perpetually exhausted despite being successful on paper. We look at why Human Skills—like introspection and self-regulation—are actually the hardest skills to master.
It’s Not Just What Happened to You
Stacey is a big myth-buster when it comes to trauma. She reminds us that the Greek definition of trauma is simply "wound". It is an unhealed emotional or physical wound that changes the way we show up in the world.
The most profound realization from our chat was this: Trauma is not just about the "bad" things that happened to you. It’s also about the good things that didn't happen. Did you feel seen? Did you feel heard? Did you feel safe to be your authentic self without shape-shifting to please others?. If the answer is no, you might be operating out of a survival response. You might call it "being Type A" or "being driven," but Stacey calls it what it is: a survival tactic because your body doesn't feel safe.
From Financial Ruin to Radical Gratitude
Stacey doesn't just teach this theory; she lived it. In 2012, she faced what she calls a "Defcon 10" situation. She and her husband lost their family business, faced a $10 million lease liability, and were left with $500 in the bank and two children to feed.
She was stripped of every external marker of safety. She couldn't afford therapy. She couldn't afford escapism. All she had was a whisper of intuition that told her to say "thank you".
This wasn't toxic positivity. It was micro-gratitude.
She set alarms on her phone for every single hour. When the alarm went off, she had to find something to be grateful for. Sometimes it was just the ability to move her legs over the side of the bed. Sometimes it was just breathing. This practice rewired her nervous system and helped her find safety within herself when the outside world was crumbling.
Why This Matters for Leaders
You cannot effectively lead a team, a family, or a business if you are leading from a place of unhealed wounds. When we are in survival mode, we are either hyper-aroused (anxious, micromanaging, no boundaries) or hypo-aroused (procrastinating, shut down, numb).
We heal so that we can stop reacting and start responding. As Stacey beautifully put it: "No one's broken. You just adapted to life in a way that's no longer working for you".
P.S. If you’re ready to stop pushing the boulder up the hill and start understanding the hurt "parts" of you that are driving the bus, this episode is your starting point.
