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Tame Your Financial Inner Critic: Reclaim Your Discernment

  • Writer: Tosca DiMatteo
    Tosca DiMatteo
  • 6 days ago
  • 4 min read
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Money thoughts can be some of the loudest and trickiest inner critics we face. That nagging voice of scarcity telling you, "You can’t afford that" or "That’s selfish" can hold you back from living your fullest life and achieving your goals.


In episode 72 of The Unlock Lab, I go deep into the roots of the financial inner critic, a voice many of us know way too well but don’t often talk about openly enough. I share my own journey wrestling with these thoughts, unpack where they come from and how they impact the way we think about finances. Most importantly, I offer six practical steps to help you reduce overwhelm, quiet this critic, and start making empowered decisions about your finances.


This is the first step on a path to building a healthier, more abundant relationship with money and resources, not just financially but in all the ways abundance shows up in our lives.







What Does the Financial Inner Critic Sound Like?


The financial inner critic is relentless and insidious. It can sound like:


"You can’t afford it."

"That’s not your money to spend."

"It’s selfish to buy that."

"Other people don’t have that privilege, so you shouldn’t either."

"That’s a waste of money."

"You’ll never get your investment back."

"You should wait until you have more saved."


Often these messages you've been hearing for years or since a recent financial challenge. But the critic doesn't always come with a tape on loop, it can arrive as a feeling; like guilt, shame, or anxiety without clear language. For me, an early pattern of guilt often drove me to "rescue" others financially buying lunches or small gifts, to soothe that inner sense of inequity. Over time, I realized that generosity feels very different when there isn't an ounce of guilt or obligation or people pleasing within it.


The Roots of Your Money Mindset


Money mindset is deeply conditioned by family stories, culture, and early experiences. For example, one message I heard growing up was “I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want to live like one.” On reflection, I saw this as a story of limiting belief—fear of what wealth might bring, rather than embracing possibility.


Others may have internalized the expectation of financial dependence, while also desiring independence and freedom, much like I did in balancing entrepreneurship and partnership.


6 Practical Steps to Quiet Your Financial Inner Critic


1. Identify Your Money Thoughts

Don’t just think about them, write them down. What are your recurring thoughts and feelings about money? Use journaling or visualization to observe your money relationship with curiosity.


2. Honor Your Financial History

Chronicle significant money experiences, both challenging and abundant, and explore how they shaped your beliefs and decisions. Reflect on how you’ve grown since those events by asking yourself how you and your circumstances are different now.


3. Clarify Your True Beliefs

Separate conditioned beliefs from your authentic views. You might discover you naturally hold an abundant mindset but have been programmed to believe it's safer to be a miser. Reconnecting with your own truth can be liberating.


4. Pay Attention to Inner Critic Messages

Catch those moments when your critic talks about spending or saving. Create space to pause, assess reality versus fear, and choose wisely which “inner voice” you want to listen to. Which do you want to influence your decisions, the fearful one or the voice that represents your wise, empowered knowing.


5. Examine Your Financial Blaming

Sometimes we mask deeper emotions by blaming finances. Reflect on whether a "no" to spending truly comes from lack of resources, or from misaligned values or fears. Uncovering the pattern of blaming resources will help you prevent finances from being the default block to the blessings and opportunities you seek.


6. Know the Truth About Your Finances

Review your numbers honestly - and literally LOOK AT THEM. Pay attention to if you are avoiding this due to fear of what you will find. Knowing your financial reality is the most powerful step towards freedom. It helps you see options clearly and make grounded choices.


Why This Work Matters


Money is often tangled with big emotions filled with layered stories, generational imprints, trauma, guilt, shame, pride, as well as hope and the desire to break chains. Your inner critic likely stems from a protective place but may keep you stuck in reactive patterns that no longer serve you.


By doing this work you reclaim your power, cultivate presence and wisdom, and open pathways to abundance on your terms.


My Journey With Money Mindset


I’ve walked this path myself, from managing budgets and debt anxiety to learning how to hold myself with more compassion and grace. Accepting my financial reality, embracing my privileges, and giving myself permission to invest in my healing, growth and business took time.


I’m still on the journey of evolving my abundance mindset, and I share these insights to encourage you forward, whatever your starting point.


Your Next Steps


Still feeling overwhelmed? Reach out for support, coaches, financial advisors, trusted friends or explore books and courses on this topic.


Most importantly: start by paying kind attention to your inner dialogue around finances and resources. Write, reflect, and loosen the grip of scarcity thinking with compassion while planting the seeds of new beliefs.


You deserve to live expansively and create the life and business you desire, free from the shadow of limiting beliefs around money.


If you found these insights helpful, I invite you to sign up for my newsletter newsletter. Get monthly inspiration, practical tips, and exclusive content to support your growth in all areas of life.


Subscribe now here and start your journey toward greater financial freedom and abundant living.






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